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Trying Not to Compare Children…

February 1, 2010

I think every parent has those moments of comparing children, whether it’s between your own children or against a friends.  Ok, let’s hope others have these thoughts or I’m just paranoid.  Now, let me state here that it’s never this “My child is better than yours” type of comparison.  I often have those paranoid moments wondering if Bean or Baby Bird are doing what they should be developmentally.

I honestly don’t really remember having these type of thoughts when Bean was younger.  They first started to pop up when Bean was 4 years old.  We had the hopes of having her reading before she went into Kindergarten.  I was so used to listening to my MIL constantly talk about my hubby and SIL reading SO WELL before Kindergarten.  I figured that all children were reading when they entered school.  Let’s just say teaching Bean to read was interesting.  Since she was 3 years old, she had books memorized.  Once we started “teaching” her to read, it was really hard to know what she actually knew as opposed to memorized.  When we started working on new books is when we discovered her skill.  I can remember my husband getting frustrated teaching her words, like “dog.”   He would say:  D -OG.  D-OG.  D-OG.  What word is that?   It seemed like forever until she actually could put the syllables together.  In the end, Bean was not a great, more like a barely, reader upon entering Kindergarten.  But guess what?  So were most of the kids.  And once she got the hang of it, she was off and running.  For a girl who pretty much read one word picture books at the start of Kindergarten, now reads at the 3rd grade level…Chapter Books.  Getting on the chapter book reading list for the 1st graders is a big deal I hear.  But now we have a baby and it’s so easy to compare my own kids.

When comparing my girls, baby to baby, these two couldn’t be polar opposites.  Bean came into the world at 7 pounds 7 ounces and Baby Bird came in at a whooping 9 pounds 16 ounces. I can remember Bean flipping herself over at like 2 weeks while Baby Bird laid around like Jaba the Hut.  Bean had great head control from almost day one, while Baby Bird wasn’t much for even being on her belly.  The first time I started to compare and worry is when friends babies were trying to roll over and Baby Bird would have none of it.  Bean was crawling at 6 months, cruising around 7, and walking around 9.5 months.  Baby Bird took forever to roll over and at 9 months, is finally interested in crawling.  I was really worried for a while that Baby Bird wasn’t developing physically at the rate Bean did.  We’ve finally figured out that Baby Bird will pull herself up and semi-cruise if she wants to; she’s too busy playing with her toys and talking.  She has some ridiculous small motor skills and an amazing vocabulary, saying mama, dada, bu-bye, dog, cat, sissy, up, nite-nite, cookie, uh-oh, milk (sign), and more (sign).  Okay, I will give it up to the experts…”Every child is different.”

Now, I just want to enjoy the moments of both girls.  I love the unique squeals Baby Bird does when Bean entertains her.  It’s too cute to see Bean read a book every night to her sister.  There is excitement in the house by everyone when Baby Bird picks up a new word or tries new thing physically.  Funny, but both of my girls are teething right now:  Bean finishing getting her 6-year-old molars in while Baby Bird is still working on getting in that first tooth.  Could it be any better to watch your 6.5 year old feed her little sister?  BFF as Bean always says…

7 Comments leave one →
  1. February 1, 2010 3:33 pm

    Wow! I read that whole thing (which is not normal believe me). But, it was so interesting b/c I could so imagine myself being like this in the future as a mother (distant future lol).

    I can relate to what you are saying as well through my sister and does this, butshe is on her third child and (sadly) insists on them progressing at the same rate(despite they are all different ages..sigh)

    • Tickled Pink Twice permalink*
      February 2, 2010 12:21 pm

      It is honestly hard to not compare children or at least wonder if yours is doing what their supposed to do. I really hate it when someone goes…”So is Baby Bird doing this…or that?” If you answer no, it’s like…OOOOOoooohhhhhhh. My child did that at this time. I’ve learned just by the vocabulary of our youngest at 9 months that they each have their own timeline and what they’d rather be doing…like locating each of my hairs on the carpet and trying to eat them 🙂

  2. February 2, 2010 12:32 am

    Wow,we were on the same wavelength today! Thanks for stopping by!

    • Tickled Pink Twice permalink*
      February 2, 2010 12:21 pm

      Weird huh.

  3. February 2, 2010 1:06 pm

    Hello: Thought I would stop by and am very glad I did… Your blog is wonderful. I have had this little problem too. Your kids are adorable. Thanks so much for sharing and I will be back soon. Cheers, Lia

    • Tickled Pink Twice permalink*
      February 2, 2010 3:55 pm

      It’s hard not to compare on some level. I think it’s just human nature. It’s really hard when the kids are polar opposites in many areas too. Course, waiting 6 years between kids meant I needed a refresher course so it’s almost like 1st child jitters all over again. I’m going to go and give you a visit because you can never have too many good blogs to read! Thanks for the visit!

  4. February 2, 2010 6:26 pm

    Thanks for the great ideas. I look forward to more posts in the future.

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